Notifications: one per conversation, none for your own messages

Four things were wrong, and they compounded: a busy chat produced one row
per message, muting a group did nothing at all, there was no way to clear
the list, and the one person guaranteed to know about a message — its
author — was told about it.

The author bug was a name mismatch across two processes. The node sent
chat_notify without saying who wrote the message, so the hub used the
node's own token subject, which is the operator's account. The skip
therefore matched the operator and no one else: everybody was notified of
their own messages, and the operator was notified of nobody's. The node
now names the author and the hub reads that field.

Muting lived in the browser's localStorage and nothing ever read it, so
the checkbox was decoration. It is a column on group_members now, checked
where the notification is created — a notification nobody wants is not
written at all.

Chat keeps a single row per (user, kind, group) whose date moves and whose
read flag clears, so a conversation is one line saying when it last spoke.
Clicking it opens the group and dismisses it; joining a group dismisses
its invitation; and DELETE /v1/notifications clears the lot.

The hub deploy now runs alembic. create_all() only creates missing tables,
so group_members.muted never arrived on the running hub and /v1/groups/mine
answered 500 — worth catching in the script rather than in a browser.

Verified end to end against the deployed hub and node: the author receives
nothing, the other member receives exactly one, carrying its group_id.

Co-Authored-By: Claude Opus 5 <noreply@anthropic.com>

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