fix(node): run on the default Windows event loop (Proactor)

Verified end to end: a live browser peer on Windows connecting to a Windows
node — handshake, index sync, file download and an ffmpeg-transcoded video
stream all work on the ProactorEventLoop. aiortc only hangs on it in the
same-process loopback the tests use, which the repo-root conftest already
handles for the suite.

So the daemon no longer forces the SelectorEventLoop: that fixed
aiortc-in-one-process but broke ffmpeg (no subprocess support on a Windows
SelectorEventLoop). `use_compatible_event_loop()` becomes
`configure_event_loop()` — a no-op unless MESHBAY_NODE_EVENT_LOOP=selector
is set explicitly, as an escape hatch that probably never needs pulling.

This drops the planned "move ffmpeg off the asyncio loop" work.

Co-Authored-By: Claude Sonnet 5 <noreply@anthropic.com>

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