fix(hub): the mail allowance is written down, and recovery keeps a share

Two dicts in `mail.py` held the budget, so every deploy handed out a fresh
one — and this hub is deployed several times a day. A bound a restart forgets
is not a bound, for the reason the denylist is persisted rather than held in
memory (S3). It is a `mail_quota` table now, one row per counter, the
recipient hashed so the table does not become a list of plaintext addresses.

The counting moves with it, into an async `reserve` that has a session, and
`send_off_loop` is the one door it stands in. `_send` keeps the purpose
allow-list: that half needs no state, and it is what stops anything which
puts a message on the wire from naming a reason this hub does not send for.
The caller owns the commit, so a request that fails afterwards is not charged
for mail nobody received.

`hourly_reserved_for_recovery` is new. A flood of sign-ups used to be able to
spend the whole hour and lock out the person waiting on a passphrase reset;
registration and address changes may now spend only the unreserved share.

Values changed as agreed: 10 messages a day to one recipient, 300 s between
two reset codes. The address-change ceiling and its cooldown were two bounds
on one thing — 3 a day and 60 s apart — and collapse into one 48-hour delay.
Asking again for the address already pending is exempt: it reaches no new
recipient, that recipient is bounded anyway, and without the exemption a typo
locked the account out of correcting it for two days.

Co-Authored-By: Claude Opus 5 <noreply@anthropic.com>
Claude-Session: https://claude.ai/code/session_01T4YmK41VsEURWFdop4EEeT

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