fix(node): a running transfer keeps its slot, and a dead grant lets go

Two defects in the lease machinery, both found in the node's own log, neither
reachable from any test on either side.

**`touch()` was never called.** The node ignored `tr` on `file_req` entirely, so
`used` stayed False for every download ever made and the sweeper revoked each
grant thirty seconds in — while the file was transferring at 20 MB/s. The pool
was correct and the handlers were correct; the call between them was missing,
which is why neither side's tests could see it.

**The requeue was a permanent cycle.** A revoked grant went back in the queue,
was granted again a millisecond later because there was room, and was revoked
again thirty seconds on. The node logged the same two reclaims every thirty
seconds for as long as it ran — minutes after the transfers involved had
finished. Three chances now, then the lease is closed and the peer told.
`test_the_counter_never_drifts` could not have caught it: nothing drifted, the
same lease simply never left.

A lease that starts being used forgets its earlier misses: a client that took
two grants to get going is slow, not abandoned.

Also `transfers show` reported the module defaults rather than the operator's
values until something had transferred, so `transfers set 2 2` answered
"applied now" and the next line said 0/8 — indistinguishable, from outside,
from the hot-swap that did nothing for months. The test asserted the defaults
and so agreed with the bug; found by typing the command.

Co-Authored-By: Claude Opus 5 <noreply@anthropic.com>
Claude-Session: https://claude.ai/code/session_01HCGdheDLxGReuKHga3BtST

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