fix(node): push the grants a per-member cap change produces

Raising the per-member cap from 2 to 4 left both waiting transfers on
"waiting". The pool granted them correctly and nobody told the peers:
`ops.set_transfer_limits` computed `granted` and never sent a `transfer_state`,
where the node-wide path (`WebRTCTransport.set_capacity`) does.

That is the first row of §5.2 of ~/next/improve-downloads.md — "node granted a
slot, the push was lost" — reached by writing the decision and forgetting the
send. It is the same omission as the missing `touch()` call one layer up, on the
same day: a mechanism that is right everywhere except at the seam where it has
to reach somebody.

The client recovered after its 60-second watchdog re-asked, which is why this
looked like a slow queue rather than a lost message.

`transfer_probe.py --operator` covers it now, separately from the node-wide
hot-swap it already covered — different door, different code path, and only one
of them was tested. Verified failing with the push removed.

Co-Authored-By: Claude Opus 5 <noreply@anthropic.com>
Claude-Session: https://claude.ai/code/session_01HCGdheDLxGReuKHga3BtST

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