fix(node): reload the user manager before reload/restart-daemon

Reported live: after installing the .deb, systemd printed "Warning: The
unit file, source configuration file or drop-ins of meshbay-node.service
changed on disk. Run 'systemctl --user daemon-reload' to reload units."

Both postinst scripts (deb and rpm) already run a daemon-reload, but only
for the system manager — they run as root, and the unit that changed is
the *user* unit (packaging/systemd/meshbay-node-user.service), owned by
each signed-in person's own user manager, a different process root
cannot reach. Iterating over logged-in users from postinst was
considered and rejected: fragile (depends on machined and each user's
session bus), and root has no business doing a user's job.

`_systemctl_user` — the one place `reload` and `restart-daemon` already
shell out to systemd — now reloads the user manager first, under the
correct privilege, right before the verb that would otherwise act on a
stale unit. Best-effort and unchecked, like the postinst's own
daemon-reload: a reload the manager did not need must never block what
the operator asked for, and systemd still reports a genuine failure from
the verb itself.

Does not touch the postinst scripts. On a package upgrade the warning
can still appear once, before the next reload/restart-daemon (or a login,
which starts a fresh user manager that reads the current file); this
closes it from the CLI's own lifecycle commands rather than reaching
into every session from root.

test_lifecycle_commands_delegate_to_systemctl_user now expects the
daemon-reload call ahead of the verb — checked failing against the
previous code.

Co-Authored-By: Claude Sonnet 5 <noreply@anthropic.com>
Claude-Session: https://claude.ai/code/session_01AbwJDbNTkiRUh7HTWEoyss

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